


An Evening with Uncle Keith

by Plagg



Series: Pidgance Family FUN [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 10/10 Would Recommend, F/M, Gen, keith is a gr8 babysitter, these poor kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 13:07:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8145122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plagg/pseuds/Plagg
Summary: When Lance and Pidge's anniversary rolls around, Keith is left to babysit their monstrosities - I MEAN delightful children.





	

“ _Hey, Keith, buddy, pal, my guy, mi amigo…”_

“What do you want, Lance?” Keith groaned into the receiver, crashing on the sofa of his home.  It was a little place; he didn’t want much for just himself.  A messy living room, a cluttered kitchen, two bedrooms (one mostly used for conspiracy theories and the other for guests), and a tiny bathroom were all he needed.  He moved an old newspaper out from under his back as Lance spoke.

“ _So, me and Pidge’s anniversary is tomorrow…_ ”

“Yeahhh, you made sure everyone knew a month ago, Lance.”

“ _Well, Shiro, Allura, and Matt are going to play mini golf, and Hunk and Coran are going on a roadtrip apparently, so, if you could be an_ awesome _guy, my dude-_ “

“Lance, just get to the point,” Keith sighed.  He knew what was coming, so why didn’t Lance just spit it out?

“ _Pidge thinks it’d be a great idea for you to babysit Rose and Blake for us so we can go to dinner!_ ” Lance explained loudly.  In the background, Keith could hear Pidge yelling and two little voices screech.  “ _Kids, don’t play with that!  Oh, god, Blake put that down!_ ”

Another loud crash and phone drop later, Lance returned to the call.  “ _So, babysitting…_ ”

“I guess…you guys deserve a break anyway,” Keith said.  Lance let out a sigh of relief, but before he could even thank Keith, there was the sound of crying and Lance cursing under his breath.

“ _Gotta go; thanks, though!_ ”

What had Keith just gotten himself in to?

* * *

 

Around 6 o’clock the next day, Lance and Pidge arrived with their two kids.  It obviously wasn’t Keith’s first time seeing the children; it was just his first time _alone_ with them. 

“OK, Rose is lactose intolerant so whatever you do, don’t give her milk.  Blake is scared of dogs, so be careful what you watch on TV; he will cry.  Neither of them have had supper but don’t load them up on junk food.  They both love peanut butter – I raised them well – and they love pizza.  Make sure they’re asleep by 9 unless you want to deal with cranky kids.  Blake likes to be carried and Rose likes to sit on your shoulders, so be careful when you sit down…am I missing anything, Lance?” Pidge and Keith turned to Lance, who was dragging Rose out of a tree and balancing Blake on his calf.

“Are you guys OK, Pidge?” Keith asked, resting a hand on the woman’s shoulder. 

Pidge sighed, rubbing her forehead.  “They’re just – handfuls.  Thanks for this, Keith…”

“Rose, _just_ because your name is a flower doesn’t mean you can eat tree leaves!  Where does that logic even _come_ from?!” Lance said exasperatedly, dragging the girl back by her wrist.  Blake giggled, reaching his arms out to Keith when they reached the doorway.  Keith took the boy as Lance quickly spun Rose into the house, blowing kisses at her as Pidge dragged him away.

Keith looked down at the boy in his arms and the girl holding onto his pants.  How do you entertain children?  Oh.  He knew.  “Have you two ever played Paladins and Galra?”

* * *

 

“Watch out, Bubby!” Rose shouted to her brother, squealing when he had to duck to escape Keith.  The little boy shrieked as he ran, waddling away when Keith growled in his ears.  Rose giggled from behind the couch, electric mixer strangled in her grip. 

When Keith heard her, he jerked his head to look at her, smirking when the girl screamed. 

“Get back here, Blue Paladin!” Keith bellowed, stomping after her.  Rose spun around and “shot” at him.  Keith gripped at his heart, falling to his knees as Rose continued to fill his chest with imaginary bullets.  When he fell onto his side, Blake emerged from his hiding place, and the twins jumped on top of Keith, crushing his ribs with their bare feet.  Ahh, OK, I’m dead!  I’m dead!” Keith said through his coughs.  He wrapped an arm around Blake and pulled the giggling boy down.  

“No fair!” Rose pouted, flopping down onto Keith’s stomach.  He grunted, but otherwise was thankful the two were still.  They all laid (mostly) still for just a few minutes before Rose spoke up again.  “I’m hungry.”

Keith sat up, groaning in pain.  Blake fell into his lap, sitting on Rose’s arm.  “Well, let’s see what I have here, I guess,” Keith said, slowly standing up.  Rose and Blake danced around him, as they walked, effectively making the man trip over his own feet. 

Inside the freezer, all Keith could find was Hot Pockets.  Well, guess that would have to do.  He popped two pepperoni pizza pockets in the microwave, then looked in the fridge for what they could have to drink.  “Do you two like Pepsi?”

“Mommy doesn’t-“

Rose slapped a hand over Blake’s mouth, grin growing on her face.  “I dunno about Blakey, but _I_ like Pepsi.”

Keith furrowed his brow, knowing there was something Rose wasn’t telling him.  He eventually shrugged it off, handing either child a bottle of the soda.  The microwave went off, and he handed them both their dinner.  Blake took Rose’s hand and ran toward the sofa, flopping face-first onto the cushions.  Keith laughed and helped them up, then turned on the TV to find something child-friendly to watch. 

It was hard not to laugh when the kids pulled long strands of cheese from the Hot Pockets, even harder not to laugh when Blake hiccupped and burped every other sip of Pepsi.  The TV eventually landed on _Aristocats_ , so Keith figured that would be safe enough for them to watch. 

* * *

 

“U-Uncle Keiiiiith!” Blake cried, jumping on Keith’s chest.  “W-wake uuuuuuup!”

Keith slowly opened his eyes, groaning at the pressure on his chest.  He reached up to ruffle Blake’s hair, but the child was too distraught.  Confused, Keith sat up.  He looked over to the TV to see a dog with a cigar in his mouth.  Oh.  Whoops.

“Blake…” Keith managed through his tired voice.  “It’s alright, ‘s just a cartoon, buddy.”

“B-but, that doggy’s m-meaaaaaaan!” Blake cried, hiding himself with Keith’s side. 

“Shhhhhh,” Keith reached for the remote, switching the television off.  It was already 8:30, anyway, he could put the kids to bed. 

Wait.

“Where’s Rose?” Keith asked, glancing around for the girl.

“She went to the potty,” Blake said through his sniffles.

Keith nodded, standing with Blake in his arms.  He quickly took the little boy off to the guest room, dumping him on the bed.  He took off to the bathroom, tossing open the door to find Rose sitting in the tub with the water running.

“ _Shit_!” Keith dove down, twisting the knob off.

“Hey!” Rose whined.  “I’m taking a baaaaaath!”

“Rose, it’s bedtime, not bathtime,” Keith said.  He grabbed a towel and pulled the girl out, redressing her quickly.  “You can take a bath at home, but not here, OK?”

Rose pulled on a pout, and Keith rolled his eyes, tossing her over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold.  He threw her down on the bed, and the girl crawled up beside her brother, crossing her arms.

“Lay down, Rose,” Keith said. 

Rose shook her head, puffing her cheeks. 

Keith groaned and tossed his head back, then he flopped down belly first on the mattress.  “Well, if you’re not going to sleep, I am…”  He let out loud fake snores, eyes squeezed shut.  The twins looked to each other, then crawled closer to Keith to examine him. 

“I think you broke Uncle Keith, Sissy…”

“I didn’t do nothing!” Rose hissed.  She pressed her ear to Keith’s back, sighing in relief.  “He’s still breathin’,” she said, sitting back on her bottom.  “Wanna go watch TV?”

Blake nodded, and the two took off.

* * *

 

“We’re back!” Lance announced, tossing open the front door to Keith’s home.  Pidge giggled behind him, shoving him through the doorway.

She quickly noted the sleeping kids on the couch.  Blake laid on top of his sister, curled up while Rose cuddled him close in her lap.  Weren’t they just the cutest! 

“Hey, guys…” Keith said through a yawn, waving as he came in.  He spotted the kids and sighed in relief, not that either parent noticed. 

“Thanks again for watching them, Keith,” Pidge whispered, crossing her arms.  She walked over to her kids, shaking their shoulders barely to wake them up. 

“Mommy…” Rose whined.  “My tummy huuuuurts…”

“It’s OK, sweetie,” Pidge said soothingly.  She picked up her daughter, who pressed her head into Pidge’s neck and gripped her shirt tightly.

Lance picked up Blake, who immediately fell back asleep.  “We’ll make it up to you, promise, Keith.”

“How about paying me?”

Lance and Pidge laughed as they backed out the door, pointing to Keith, then each other and the kids, then back to Keith until they were at the truck.  Even once inside, Keith could see them still laughing, Lance even smacking his legs and Pidge holding onto the dash.

Those shits.

**Author's Note:**

> I love writing these kids.  
> Follow me on tumblr @pidgesheadphones and @askthe2memepaladins!


End file.
